happily marred

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (Gen 2:25)

“When the Creator visited His creation to dwell in it bodily, it was not as a star that He came, nor as a lightning bolt, nor as a white whale or a holy book or a spirit only, but as a man… The human body, then, possesses a glory that is unique in all the earth (glory in the ordinary sense of “awe-inspiring beauty, “ but also in the special biblical sense of the “spiritual made visible “), and it is in the peculiar dazzle of nakedness that this glory is most obvious, most tantalizing and revealing” (127).

“Human beings are, after all, the only creatures that can be naked, the only creatures in which this bizarre unveiling can take place. For in everything else, whether animate or inanimate, nakedness is axiomatic (self-evident). Trees may be clothed in their autumn splendor or the sea wear a mantle of light — but only by analogy with human clothing. Mankind alone puts an araficial covering over his body. Everything else stands star/c; staring naked at the sight of God and is not ashamed” (128).

Do you have a different answer?
     • Why is it only man who must put on artificial clothing? (Shame)
     • Why is it he alone that must cover-up when all of creation stands boldly naked before its Maker? (Shame)
     • What is shame?

SHAME:  A painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety. 2) A condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute: IGNOMiNY: Deep personal humiliation and regret.

“The implication is clear: it is not primarily that because we get cold or wet that we must cover ourselves up. It was not forty below with blowing snow in Paradise! No, we dress because we sin, and even the finest clothing is like the striped suitfa jailbird, a sign and a reminder that man is an unholy fugitive, in hidingfrom God andfrom his fellows” (129).

Remember our Theme? Sex is a powerful outward symbol of the inner temper of a marital relationship.

With that in mind, “it should be clear that sex must never be depended upon to establish love but can only grow out of it” (139). Friends, you may be laughing your way to a better marriage, or a better sex life; you may think that books, magazines, videos, or even therapy may make things better in the bedroom, and it may for a time, but for change to be lasting you must profoundly change your attitude at the emotional and spiritual level.

Mason states that the sex life DEMANDS a loving gift of the self, the sincere devotion of the whole heart (139).

Application: Sex does not make you love, but it is an expression of it. The quality of your marriage depends upon (with few exceptions) a wholesome and mutually satisfying sex life. Your feelings toward one another will be reflected in your sex life, which is not dependent upon technique, but upon mutual devotion to one another, the sacrificial giving of yourselves both emotionally and spiritually.

           He who loves his wife loves himself - Ephesians 5:28

Theme: A vow is more than a promise or an agreement to one another, but a solenm promise made to God.

“The call to be married bears comparison with Jesus’ advice to the rich young man to sell all his possessions and to follow him. It is a vocation of total abandonment. For most people, in fact, marriage is the single most wholehearted step they will ever take toward the fulfillment of Jesus’ command to love one ‘s neighbor as oneself For every marriage partner begins as a neighbor, and often enough a neighbor who has been left beaten and wounded on the road of love, whom all the rest of the world has in a sense passed by’ (103).

What does the wedding vow mean to a Christian couple?

The vows that a couple makes at their wedding are much more than ritualistic trite sayings, but are in fact holy pledges. These may “be the only truly sacred words that that ever escape a couple ‘s mouths. The saying of them requires about thirty seconds, but the keeping of them is the work of a lfetime” (105). What then is the difference between a promise and a vow? Vow: A solemn promise made to God either to do or to abstain from some action. Or, an older dictionary states that it is voluntary, but once made is conscientiously fulfilled (Deut 23:21-23; Ecc 1:5; Neh 1.15; Ps 1, 14; Prov 20:25. (Someone has said that a promise is temporal, and a vow is eternal — what do you think)?

“To keep a vow, however, does not mean to keep from breaking it. This is where a vow dffers from a mere promise or resolution. A resolution, once broken, must either be forgotten or made again. But a vow retains its power and validity irrespective of conduct” (105). "To keep a vow, therefore, means not to keep from breaking it, but to devote the rest of one ‘s flfe to discovering what the vow means, and be willing to change and grow accordingly” (106).

The marriage vows are impossible to keep and impossible to walk away from (104). You cannot promise to love another person, but you can vow to love them (106). 

What does it mean to vow something to someone? 

When the feelings are gone, is the commitment gone? NO!

That is why, as Mason states, “the taking of vows is an act of faith” (109). “If people were faithful by nature, vows would not be necessary; their yes would be yes and their no would be no. But it is because people are not inherently faithful nor honest nor loving that hey must stand up and declare that they will be. The public declaration does not automatically transform them into marvelous creatures of virtue who will always keep to their word. On the contrary, it only makes more obvious and public their complete lack ofpersonal virtue, calling upon the witness and support of the whole community of their friends and relatives and emphasizing their dependence upon resources that are utterly beyond human strength. The marriage vows give glory to God” (109).

Do you believe that God actually helps you keep your vows, helps you to continue to love your spouse, or is it your own diligence that keeps you two together? Our marriages find themselves rooted in the biblical concept of Covenant. This is where “two parties so bind themselves to one another that the simple maintenance of their relationship becomes the most important and central thing in all of itfe, and the basis from which everything else flows” (117).

Application: We are to love our spouse with a vowed love that is not dependent upon happiness or any of the hallmarks of success. Ask God for His grace and mercy to love your spouse with His faithfulness, His compassion, His perseverance, and His strength. You may not be in love, but God will give you the strength to love and that is a very good thing.