happily marred

           He who loves his wife loves himself - Ephesians 5:28

Theme: A vow is more than a promise or an agreement to one another, but a solenm promise made to God.

“The call to be married bears comparison with Jesus’ advice to the rich young man to sell all his possessions and to follow him. It is a vocation of total abandonment. For most people, in fact, marriage is the single most wholehearted step they will ever take toward the fulfillment of Jesus’ command to love one ‘s neighbor as oneself For every marriage partner begins as a neighbor, and often enough a neighbor who has been left beaten and wounded on the road of love, whom all the rest of the world has in a sense passed by’ (103).

What does the wedding vow mean to a Christian couple?

The vows that a couple makes at their wedding are much more than ritualistic trite sayings, but are in fact holy pledges. These may “be the only truly sacred words that that ever escape a couple ‘s mouths. The saying of them requires about thirty seconds, but the keeping of them is the work of a lfetime” (105). What then is the difference between a promise and a vow? Vow: A solemn promise made to God either to do or to abstain from some action. Or, an older dictionary states that it is voluntary, but once made is conscientiously fulfilled (Deut 23:21-23; Ecc 1:5; Neh 1.15; Ps 1, 14; Prov 20:25. (Someone has said that a promise is temporal, and a vow is eternal — what do you think)?

“To keep a vow, however, does not mean to keep from breaking it. This is where a vow dffers from a mere promise or resolution. A resolution, once broken, must either be forgotten or made again. But a vow retains its power and validity irrespective of conduct” (105). "To keep a vow, therefore, means not to keep from breaking it, but to devote the rest of one ‘s flfe to discovering what the vow means, and be willing to change and grow accordingly” (106).

The marriage vows are impossible to keep and impossible to walk away from (104). You cannot promise to love another person, but you can vow to love them (106). 

What does it mean to vow something to someone? 

When the feelings are gone, is the commitment gone? NO!

That is why, as Mason states, “the taking of vows is an act of faith” (109). “If people were faithful by nature, vows would not be necessary; their yes would be yes and their no would be no. But it is because people are not inherently faithful nor honest nor loving that hey must stand up and declare that they will be. The public declaration does not automatically transform them into marvelous creatures of virtue who will always keep to their word. On the contrary, it only makes more obvious and public their complete lack ofpersonal virtue, calling upon the witness and support of the whole community of their friends and relatives and emphasizing their dependence upon resources that are utterly beyond human strength. The marriage vows give glory to God” (109).

Do you believe that God actually helps you keep your vows, helps you to continue to love your spouse, or is it your own diligence that keeps you two together? Our marriages find themselves rooted in the biblical concept of Covenant. This is where “two parties so bind themselves to one another that the simple maintenance of their relationship becomes the most important and central thing in all of itfe, and the basis from which everything else flows” (117).

Application: We are to love our spouse with a vowed love that is not dependent upon happiness or any of the hallmarks of success. Ask God for His grace and mercy to love your spouse with His faithfulness, His compassion, His perseverance, and His strength. You may not be in love, but God will give you the strength to love and that is a very good thing.