In grammar, an Indicative is a statement of fact: the sky is blue, I am tired. imperatives are commands, like "close the door", "slow down!" or "stop that".
Confusing the two, especially in scripture, can lead to misunderstanding. Let’s differentiate what is elemental in marriage by biblical standards and what is commanded. For instance: children. God said "be fruitful and multiply", but he did not make it a condition of marriage. You can certainly be married and never have children.
He also said "the two shall become one flesh" - that’s an indicative statement, so it is a condition of marriage. In other words, a marriage does not exist without the two becoming one flesh.
What about these? Indicative or imperative? What others can we think of? I’ll list them here after we decide.
It is lifelong
It is legal
You should not be unequally yoked
You should be faithful
The husband is head of the wife
It is God ordained
It is between a man and a woman
It is monogamous
Communication - Advice
Advice is like opinions, which are like…well, you know. And all the good intentions in the world won’t make them any easier to tolerate if you don’t think you need it. Try this exercise together for some insights into giving and receiving advice in your marriage. Click Here: Advice
Write a mission statement for your marriage
You got married for a reason - what was it? God has a purpose for your marriage - what is it? Your mission statement should state clearly your purpose in marrying; to have children? for companionship? A mission statement will make it much easier to take decisions within your marriage. What serves the mission of our marriage better; moving to another state for more money or staying near family and friends?
Sometime in the next 6 weeks, sit down together and write a mission statement for your marriage. Once your mission statement is complete, You will want to set some goals; specific things you wish to accomplish that will help you achieve your mission and purpose. For instance, if part of your mission is to "go forth and multiply" a good goal might be to homeschool the kids, or send hubby to graduate school to increase his earning power, maybe buy a bigger house - stuff like that.
Marriage is not a business, though, and you are not the CEO of your marriage. The tough part comes when deciding HOW to accomplish these things. However, just KNOWING you agree on your mission gives you a reason to try a little harder, and can take the sting out of some of those disagreements.
If you write your marriage mission statement and are willing share it, hit the "comments" button and help the rest of us out!
